Digital Switch Postponed

First we were told that if we had a “newer” television, we wouldn’t need a converter box in order to receive the new digital signals. The word “newer” was deceptive, because what they really meant was new. Brand spanking 2007 or 2008 models, anything older would require a box. Okay, then they tell us – hey, don’t panic, the Government is going to supply everyone who needs one a coupon for $40 off the converter box – cost ya $20 bucks at the most and you’ll be good to go. There were a few groans and grumbles – but $20 bucks isn’t gonna kill us – so okay, fair enough. But then…

We are informed that the Government grossly miscalculated the number of people needing boxes, and gee they’re sorry – but the coupon program is broke. Louder groans and grumbles – but it’s just $60 bucks, we can send in the car payment late and get one. But then…

They tell us, oops, ya know – we just never really took into consideration how many of you have rabbit ears and bed springs for antennas and well, it looks like you’re going to be needing a new antenna too.

“A whut? I thought that’s what this here $60 box done.”

Well it does, it does. But it can’t receive the signal itself, you need an antenna to receive the signal and send it to the box. Then the box sends it to your television. In other words, it’s gonna cost you at least $70 more bucks to get that “free” TV signal. Grrrrrr….

So, one $60 box and one $70 antenna later, I think we’re finally ready – so I fire up the TV expecting the other thing we were promised. Remember… more channels? We have exactly what we had before, plus one channel with a 24/7 color test pattern displayed, one Spanish speaking channel, and one never ending – elevator music playing – advertisement rolling – community calendar – local access – something or other. *Oh yes, this was so worth my money! (*snark – in case it wasn‘t obvious.)

The only good thing I have to say about all of this is that, apparently, the digital switch deadline has been postponed until June.

 

10 Things To Remember When Cooking Southern

1. Gravy makes everything taste better!

2. Teaspoon and Tablespoon – means them ones there in your silverware drawer. The little one is a teaspoon, that big one is a tablespoon. If the recipe calls for a Cup – your coffee cup is just fine.

3. A “dab” and a “pinch” mean the amount of about anything you can hold between your pointer finger and thumb. Unless we’re talking liquid – then it means the amount you can pour from the bottle by quickly tipping it down and back up again. (Sometimes also referred to as a “nip” if we’re taking Sherry.)

4. “To Taste” means to the taste of the pickiest person you’re planning on feeding the stuff to. Always keep in mind, you can add more salt – but you can’t take it back out.

5. A “helping” means the amount of food it takes to fill someone up. This is a VERY different from a “serving” – a serving is the number of recommended portions in the dish. It would take 6 servings to feed some folks, whereas one “helping” would do them up right.

6. In desert recipes, if you see the word “glaze” with no explanation or recipe for making a glaze, this just means powdered sugar and water. Half a cup cold water and 4 tablespoons powdered sugar mixed up real smooth. You can squeeze a lemon or orange peel in for some extra zing.

7. The word “glaze” on meat recipes means to use the natural juices and pan drippings to make a light gravy. Remove the drippings and juice from the pan to a skillet. Into half a cup cold water, add 1 teaspoon flour and stir smooth. Get the juice and drippings boiling in the skillet – then stir in the water and flour. This will thicken the juice and drippings into a light glaze. Add salt and pepper to taste. Also referred to as “dobbin”, “sop”, and “gravy”.

8. The words “frying pan” and “skillet” always mean a cast iron skillet. When a non-stick skillet is needed, the recipe may say “seasoned” skillet. This means a cast iron skillet that has been used so often the inside is smooth so foods don’t stick during frying.

9. If the recipe say’s “big” – it ain’t kidding! If it say’s big pot, it generally means the largest soup pot you got. If it say’s big pan – it generally means either a Dutch oven or a 4 quart sauce pan. If it calls for a big bowl – you might even consider using your 4 quart sauce pan unless you have some really big bowls. Some of these recipes are very old, and families were quite large back then – so “big” means BIG.

10. Milk means whole milk – not 2% or soy or some other strange alteration. If you see the words “sweet milk”, this just means plain milk. In the old times, there had to be a distinction made between buttermilk and whole milk, so whole milk was called “sweet milk”. You may also see “sour” milk – which means buttermilk.

 

Those Born 1920-1979

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930’s, 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with our friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren’t overweight because, WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day. And we were OK.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We didn’t have Playstations, Nintendo’s, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound, no X-Boxes or CD’s, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not poke out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, responsibility and success, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH ALL OF IT!

If YOU are one of them CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it?!

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

“With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?”

 

How to “Spin”

THIS IS HOW TO SPIN … THE REAL SPIN IS BELOW:

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogy researcher here in southern California, was doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that Harry Reid’s great-great uncle, Remus Reid, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. Both Judy and Harry Reid share this common ancestor.

Harry Reid

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows in
Montana territory.

On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this inscription:

‘Remus Reid, horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.
‘

So, Judy recently e-mailed Senator Harry Reid for information about their great-great uncle.
Believe it or not, Harry Reid’s staff sent back the following biographical sketch for her genealogy research:

THE REAL SPIN:

‘Remus Reid was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad.

‘Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad.

‘In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency.

In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.
‘

NOW THAT is how it’s done folks! That’s real SPIN.

 

A Funny From UPS

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.

By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

 

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wi ng after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Air craft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

(And lastly……….)

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.